Little better

Today was alright. It started off a little iffy because I had my alarm set to six am and did really wake until after nine. I barely made it on time to class. I didn't get what I had plan to get done before class. But I think the extra sleep was needed. I just wish I would have set my alarm for nine after the first one instead of thirty more minutes thirty more minuets. But I found out my next tests aren't until after spring break so I am going to make sure to ace them. I dissected a sheep heart today... And kinda enjoyed it. That sounds so freakin weird but it's true so whatever. I'm learning all about the heart, the different chambers, muscles, valves, etc. it's very interesting. I love science. When I'm learning about the human body it helps me feel like I'm escaping reality for a moment and devoting all my attention to understanding how it works. I love that about science.  It fascinates me. I also juiced today. I did east lunch but besides that juiced all day and then two bowls of fruit loops for dinner, which I think isn't really that bad. I know it's calories but not as much as a typical dinner. I'm also doing light exercise when I can find the drive to make myself work at it. I am praying I see results soon. I'll leave you with a picture that inspired me.

I'm rarely bored alone

I feel like this always. I am happy alone and happier around a couple people versus 5 or more. All this unneeded conversation is for the birds. I hate the politer small talk that is expected in our society. Just go. Say what you want. No hi how are you that's nice yada yada. What a waste of both of our time. Give. Me a straight statement and expect a straight answer. I really don't care to share how my weekend was or what is on my mind, this sounds quite harsh, and that it may be, but damned if I do damned if I don't, I don't care to get to know anyone unless they really intrigue me. I have enough going on in my life. Friends just seem like a nuisance rather than a treasure...

Maybe that's why I can't fall asleep well. Because when the night comes and all is quiet, I feel most comfortable and at home. Hmm, interesting thought.

When are you most content? Bored?

Obese

So I've been dabbling in some self destructive behaviors. Such as not eating and also binging and purging. I'm just so tired of looking the way I do. I feel so unattractive. 
I felt more loved as a thinner person. 
This weight has drained all my self confidence and esteem.
Hopefully I will lose some weight. 
For some reason it's easier to purge then exercise. Why is that?

Alone in this dark room

I hate myself.
I hate the way I look and feel.
I never want to leave this house.
I'm gross.

Hard work pays off

I know for a fact hard work and honesty pays off. I used to live with easy money and dishonesty and was very troubled during that time. Ever since I made the conscious decision to work hard for what I have and be true and honest in every aspect of my life, I have got to admit I am happier. I feel free from a lot of demons that weighed me down. Sometimes I just have to look back at my life and reality check myself.
Lately I have really pushed myself to work hard. I am working on getting a better vehicle which I am beyond excited about. It will be my 3rd car ever owned. I deserve a better working car and I'm so happy I will soon have one.
I also took two anatomy and physiology 2 tests last week and scored very high!
So, to sum things up, hard work pays off. Don't get lazy and expect things to be given to you. Do good things, they will come back to you. :)

Be kind to one another.
<3

On my grind

Today I woke up and had to force myself out of bed I was so exhausted. I've been working hard at school this week, I've taken two anatomy and physiology 2 tests and last night after school and work I went and did a side job housekeeping. Wow, I guess it really wore me out. I am determined to get on top of my finances. I have to pull myself out of debt and am looking to get a slightly better car. I have been posting my services and hoping to get some extra cash. My hard work is bound to pay off. 

It is also Valentine's Day.... Yay... Really I'm just happy it's Friday. Lol :)

Mysterious itchy bumps

So I have had some type of chronic hives for the last 9 months. Some days weeks it's better, sometimes worse. I actually somehow unknowingly got rid of them for two weeks. But they are back right now, for a vengeance. I'm laying in bed tossed and turned trying to fall asleep and bam! Itches attack my right ankle. Now I'm up putting cold compresses and about yo takes one ibuprofen cause my hand it's achy and swollen.

I'm not sure what is causing these reactions in my body. I am convinced it is the food I put into my body. A couple hours ago I area chicken fried steak with mashed potatoes and lots of bread rolls from Black Eved Peas. My old friend was our server.

Ok just wanted to document my food and symptoms.
Peace!


I'm back, I hate insomnia it's three am and tomorrow's Monday :( I need another weekend pretty please!

Juxtaglomerular cells

So, I kind of been slacking off with my posts. It's been three weeks since my surgery and I'm going for my follow up visit tomorrow. I'm excited to have mire of this process behind me. I'm nervous about the drive but it should be fine. I'm taking my mother in law and driving her more reliable vehicle. 
So, my first rounds of test in Anatomy and Physiology 2 are next week. That means this weekend I eat sleep and breathe the material. I feel pretty good right now and I will be even more prepared by test time :) that's like the first time I've ever said that! 
Anyway, just wanted to catch up. 
Later gator